|Courtesy of Cakkleberry Lane|
There will be cats, as in cat stories, cat pictures, and caterwauling. (I hope to avoid catastrophes.)
There will be dogs. Big dogs, little dogs, scary dogs and sweet dogs. And probably some dogma.
There will be horses because, well, I'm a city girl who's spent over 20 years working with them and frankly some of my best stories involve horsing around.
There will be cows, at least a few, because they lend themselves so well to the absurd and words like Cowapunga.
And I like optimism. I may not be as "relentlessly positive" as our current governor, primarily because I appreciate the occasional bit of black humor, but my cup is closer to running over than not.
There will very likely be sarcasm, sometimes I just gotta.
And actual, factual, veterinary information.
And there will be puns. Really bad puns masquerading as humor, and possibly tongue twisters about sheep because I have a special friend who so appreciates them and teenagers to embarrass.
Which brings me to observations on parenting, which those of you who have actually attempted and survived may agree is not unlike dealing with less than eloquent animals of undetermined cognitive ability on occasion, like from birth through age, well, I'll let you know. I have a list entitled, "Things you don't think you have to tell your children," the crucially mistaken word being "don't." It evolved from an unfortunate incident involving scissors. And eyelashes. In middle school. Also, my careful instructions, upon moving my college freshman and enough stuff to outfit 3 or 6 additional people into her dorm room were, "Remember we have to move you again in the spring. Please don't acquire any more stuff." Somehow this sounded to her like, "Sure honey, go ahead and get a futon and some casual tables and maybe a few chairs..."
There will be no rap music. None. Not even a hint or reference and certainly no links.
There will be no profanity laced diatribes, although I do reserve the right to an occasional FURvent commentary, (see warning above regarding bad puns.)
Sorry, no second opinions on pets examined elsewhere. I may comment in a broad way or answer a question of general interest but it wouldn't be fair, (not to mention legal or sensible), to attempt clairvoyant diagnoses and treatments. Not that I haven't been asked to prescribe medication after telepathically determining what ails a pet I've never seen belonging to someone I've never met...
There may be errors, although as one who appreciates the English language and accuracy I'll try to keep them to a minimum.
Social media may arrive. Thus far, preferring a certain unfashionable degree of privacy, I have neither Tweeted nor Tumbled from My Space or any other and, most inexplicably to my teenagers, I have yet to join Facebook. However, wild and crazy things have been known to happen and obviously the complete and utter privacy thing is over. Until then, if you're so inclined, you'll have to "like" me via The News Herald, or whatever their equivalent to electronic adoration and carefully considered lavish approval happens to be. Or just comment, bearing in mind of course the injunction against profanity laced diatribes.
And there may be inspirational quotes, like this one from Pablo Picasso, "I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it."
In closing this inaugural post, Happy Mother's Day to some of the most amazing people on earth.